December 15–San Francisco (2)

There’s a small issue I feel I need to clear up here. Thanks to Heather’s first post, Seattle, I’ve been asked by multiple if I actually did shit my pants south of Anacortes, WA. I can promise you that I most definitely did not shit my pants at any point on this (or any other) tour. What I was explaining to Nevada at the time was that Heather blogged about the tour, but he (Nevada) shouldn’t worry because she wouldn’t put anything embarrassing in the blog. My example was that, hypothetically, if I were to shit my pants, she wouldn’t write about it. Apparently, I was wrong. Heather would write about it…and as a result, my kind words of advice have had the exact opposite effect I was looking for.

Now that we’ve got that straightened out, I’d like to turn your attention to a truck stop about an hour east of San Francisco. I was using the bathroom (not my pants, you see) and noticed some extremely elaborate graffiti carved into the toilet seat. It was like a series of interlocking vines or something, perhaps a design for a sweet lower back tattoo for the artist’s girlfriend. Has anyone ever seen anything like this before? I mean, I understand toilet wall graffiti. Who doesn’t like to spend a few minutes in a truck stop stall drawing a giant cock and balls? But on the seat? Baffling. My goal has always been to spend as little time in contact with the seat as possible. Maybe I’ve been going about this all wrong…

Okay, I just needed to put that one out there. Now you can go back to Heather’s blogging…and probably some other completely made up story about me throwing up on a karaoke jockey in Modesto.


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