Welcome to the tour diary of the Eux Autres Summer “Highway to Hella” Tour 2010.
HEATHER, the author and singer/percussionist/keyboardist
NICHOLAS, the author’s brother, the singer/guitarist, and the superior driver
YOSHI, the drummer, the first person to dare to enter the sibling vortex, an excellent sleeper
NATHAN, the bassist and newest member of the band, lover of thrift stores and fresh produce
An opening salvo: How Not to Leave for a Cross-Country Tour
1) Do not think that you will naturally wake up early without an alarm because you are so anxious
2) Do not drive your dogs to the dog camp all the way in Marin County while having a panic attack and totally bum the front desk woman out in a transaction resembling the family-movie scene that was written solely to illustrate that the absentee parent doesn’t know jackshit about her children’s lives:
Front desk woman: Uh, we don’t need those leashes. Uh, you can take the bowls. But did you bring their beds? Where’s their food?
Me, very feebly, with a drowning expression: Sorry, their dad usually does this.
3) Do not ask your brother why he is still in his pajamas when you arrive to pick him up. This will only cause him to want to kill you.
4) Do not try to ship the album art for the upcoming record the morning that you leave
5) Do not lose the key to the car topper that will hold all of the luggage
6) Do not get stuck inside of your own garage as the automatic door goes on strike for approximately ten harrowing minutes with you and the tour vehicle inside when you’re already 110 minutes late to get the rest of the band.
7) Do not leave your keyboard in the stairwell of your apartment building, causing yet another 45 minute detour on the way out of town